So, here we are in a new month. I’ve had three attempts at an endoscopy to see what is going on in my stomach in preparation for the gastric bypass. It appears that I am in atrial fibrillation, so they have not been completed. I have an appointment with a cardiologist to see what we need to do to get my heart back into normal rhythm. I’m very nervous about this. I had a bout with this before and had to have my heart shocked back into rhythm. I don’t want that to happen again. But we’ll see what happens.
One of the hardest things I go through now, especially with everything opening back up after the pandemic, is looking at Facebook and seeing people going to movies, shows, doing theater, and taking vacations. I literally am in a situation where riding more than a few minutes in the car is so painful. I am so large and my hernia is so large that I can’t sit comfortably in a regular chair. Even a large wheelchair is uncomfortable for very long. At this point I’m just stuck until I can have the surgery and start to lose the weight.
And don’t get me wrong. I don’t begrudge people getting back to their normal life. I just wish I had the option to do some of those same things. It’s very discouraging. And this is going to be a long process and really hard to get through. I know I can do it, but it’s a real struggle.
The other hard part is I know this is discouraging for my family, too. They are all so supportive, but I get grumpy when I get discouraged. And being that I can’t really leave the house, they catch all my crap. I really do try not to be too crabby, but again, it’s hard.
So, I have my good days and my bad days. I hope my good days outnumber my bad days. I try to find my own little routines to distract myself. The other problem I have is I’m in my last term for my degree and trying to keep focused on completing that. I’m struggling with that through all of this, too. But I have been really blessed to have pretty smooth sailing through my degree. It’s just a lot to deal with.
I think I’ll end there. Kind of a downer of a post, but that’s what life is like sometimes. Again, I have a GoFundMe set up to help with the costs of these surgeries. Many people have already donated. If you have already helped out, I can’t thank you enough. If you can help out it would be greatly appreciated. Here’s the link: Tony’s GoFundMe.
Love to you all!
Hey, Fatso...! 